Rejecting The Alpha Twins (Regan)

Regan POVnoveldrama

I can still feel my heart racing inside my chest as I walk away on the verge of tears, I don't know what Xander's problem is. I'm grateful that he caught me, but I'm tired of being treated like I'm some sort of leper. He's just like Xavier, going from hot to cold. Warm one minute and then cold towards me the next. My body trembles and I feel cold all over as I make my way back towards the house, but as I see it come up in the distance, hesitate. Horne used to feel comforting and warm. A safe haven, filled with the sound of my mother's laughter and filled with her love. Now it resembled little more than a sterile, cold building with Heather's penchant for little Knick knacks everywhere. If I went inside, I would simply be given new chores to do, perhaps even be scolded for upsetting Luna Jennifer, I felt my mouth go dry. For once, I felt a spurt of rebelliousness come over me. Why shouldn't I go and do something for myself for once? Something I hadn't managed to do for weeks now?

I turned and silently sidled into the nearby forest. I kept my head bowed down low, putting the hood on my coat over my head, and kept myself in the shadows. I knew that patrol tended to avoid this area, either skipping past it or giving it a wide berth. I felt a faint hint of bitterness inside me as I walked, kicking loose stones and pebbles with the foot of my shoe and watching them bounce on the dirt and roll away. I inhaled the fresh air, feeling the slight chill as I put my hands in my pockets, feeling desolate. I could feel my whole body aching, particularly sore in the parts where Xander had caught me and then proceeded to continue to hold me. I was grateful to him, but part of me resented that I owed him yet another debt of gratitude. Then again, he could have just let me fall, I thought bleakly, and instead, he had chosen to save me. It could have been much worse.

The familiar hill came into sight, and [breathed out, exhaling loudly, making my way to the top and then sinking down onto my knees, resting beside the gravestone of my mother. A simple cross, buried into the earth with her name engraved across it. "Celeste Lourdes I had her maiden name. She had never gotten around to marrying my father. My father had been peluctant to let me keep her last name but after she died, I think he was grateful not to have his last name associated with me. Both Isabelle and Heather had his last name though as she had married him. Further proof of how much he hated me. He never asked me to mind. change it. With how I felt towards him, I would never do it even if he had asked me to. I felt a little bit closer to my mother with the same last name as her. I gently placed a shaking hand on the cross, closing my eyes and picturing her in my using the last memory I had of her.

My mother had long black raven hair and sparkling green eyes, just like I had. I remembered the littering of freckles acros the smallness of her nose and cheeks. She had a dimple in one check when she smiled. Her complexion was a soft golden glow, and she had a curvy figure that had made some of the other pack men look at her with lust. She had been beautiful. Exotic looking. So different from most of the pack members here. I could still remember her singing voice and the songs she used to sing to me when I was but a toddler. Tears glistened in my eyes as I looked down at the cross, the only remaining reminder that 1 had left of her and the only link that I had to speak to her.

"Mother" I whispered, sitting down and crossing my legs "I wish you were here" I confessed. "Everybody hates me and now I have nowhere to go. Fathers made sure that I could never leave this pack. He blames me" my voice broke slightly "he blames me for your death. If he even knew that I was here... My voice trailed off and I ducked my head, finding it difficult to continue as the pain inside me continued to grow.

mind My father didn't know it but I spent time here whenever I could sneak away, speaking to my mother and finding solace in her company. She was the only one I felt I could tell my secrets to. The only one who still loved me, in my Sometimes, there were times when I wished that I could join her not sure that life was worth living. It was morbid, but I couldn't help the way I felt sometimes.

"If I could turn back time" my voice is a mere whisper "I would never have gone into the forest that day. I would have stayed on the grounds as you asked me to. I should have known better my voice is slightly cracked "I can't even remember w went inside in the first place" I confessed "all I can remember is that you tried to save me and that a sob escaped me "the rogue you were defending me against managed to kill you right in front of my eyes. I can still see the blood" I sobbed, holding my hands out and examining the palins, "and the dead look in your eyes. I can still hear the screams" my screams, the rogue's eyes staring back at me, so dark and filled with rage.

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12:18 Fri, Jan 10 Gti Chapter 16

I had never remembered the reason I had trespassed into the forest. It had been wiped from my memory. The things that [ could remember would continue to haunt me still. The guilt, the shame, the despair of knowing I was the one to cause her death, that she had died protecting me, it killed me. My mother had been my favorite person in the whole world and within minutes she was gone, forever, killed by the very things we had always been taught to avoid at all costs since we were babies.

"I wish I could speak to you one last time" I wept "I wish I could tell you how sorry I am, how much I miss you, how much I need you."

Silence. I touched the cross with shaking fingers. My heart gave a pang. Sometimes, I imagined I could hear her speaking back to me, but today that voice was silent. Even though Celeste Lourdes was buried here, beneath the earth, treasured by pack members, and adored by all, very few ever visited her gravesite, unable to bear the permanent reminder she was no longer with us. In fact, I had never seen anybody come close to her resting place. Therefore, the sound of approaching footsteps took me quite by surprise and had my head rising in utter shock. I began to feel panicked. I couldn't afford discovered out here. I would be turned into the Alpha and Luna scrambled to my feet, dusting off the dirt and leaves from

head. my clothes and quickly whipping the hoodie back over my

fo

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The footsteps grew louder. I inhaled sharply and hurried to scurry behind a nearby tree, quickly beginning to head in another direction. However, my head turned, and I could see the person, the slightness of her frame out of the corner of my eyes as I walked away, and my eyes widened in shock. The last person I had ever thought or expected to see out here was Luna Jennifer, her cloak wrapped tightly around herself. I knew she had been close friends with my mother, best friends but never had seen her visit her grave. J hesitated and then as the Luna began to reach out and touch my mother's cross, I scurried away, with a frown on my face. For as long as I could remember, Luna Jennifer had avoided visiting the gravesite, so why was she starting to visit it now? Why was she acting so secretive? Her cloak was designed to blend into the forest and keep her well hidden from prying eyes. Was she afraid of being discovered? Was she embarrassed that she might be seen at this resting place? I could feel all sorts of questions hovering on my lips as I pressed onwards, rushing out to the grounds, my head ducked low, until I collided with something hard, causing me to look up sharply. I almost groaned out loud when I saw none other than my father's furious gaze as he took hold of my arm and glared down at me.

"Where do you think you are going?" he growled.

Just like that, I knew my day was only going to get worse.